If you’re looking to read a book that is going to mildly entertain you, be rather offensive and racist and overall just make you feel queasy, you should read “Fat, White Vampire Blues” by Andrew Fox. I originally picked up this book because I enjoy reading paranormal literature and this sounded like a fun new twist on the genre. Twist yes. Fun…no, not really.
In “Fat, White Vampire Blues” the main character, Jules is an overweight vampire living in New Orleans. Now, this is the only part of the book that I really liked. Jules was fat because he would eat mostly fat people and he liked to take them out for a big, greasy dinner beforehand. I thought it was an interesting take on vampires. Typically, they are portrayed as the beautiful undead and Andrew Fox chose to take his vampires in a different direction. It was refreshing in a way to read of vampires facing consequences for feasting on the unhealthy people of the world. Unfortunately, that seemed to be the only refreshing part of “Fat, White Vampire Blues”.
The vampires in Andrew Fox’s novel held some similarities to the traditional vampire displayed in vampire lure. For instance, Jules was able to turn into a bat (although an extremely overweight bat that couldn’t fly) a wolf (again overweight with a belly that would drag on the ground) and even mist. His behaviors were a little ridiculous when he was transformed–especially when he became the wolf. I don’t want to give too much away just in case some of you actually decide to pick up this book but let me say for the record, ew.
So in the beginning of “Fat, White Vampire Blues”, Jules picks up a black prostitute and takes her out to eat a very fattening meal. Once she finished eating her food, he takes her for a drive and eventually kills her. Shocker. Anyway, he gets home from this and there is another vampire at his home. He introduces himself as Malice X, tells Jules that he isn’t allowed to kill black people anymore, turns into a leopard and pees on Jules’s casket, and then leaves. Jules now has to figure out another easy food source and soon calls for backup when he realizes it’s a little harder than he thought to just kick the habit. He goes back to his sire for help, drama ensues.
Would I recommend this book? No. I thought that the book was just a little too weird for my tastes (which is really saying something) and I was glad when I was done. I almost put down the book without finishing, but I hate doing that. I’ll always be wondering if it got any better. In the case of “Fat, White Vampire Blues” it did not. There is actually a sequel and I bought it before reading the first one because I was so convinced that I would enjoy this book. Now I’m thinking that I will just get rid of both books. Life is too short to spend time reading books that aren’t awesome.